I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The air was thick with penises
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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