i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
