It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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