You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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