i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
