There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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