your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize