they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
