dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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