i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just pee around me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
