you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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