he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
