I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Someone shit on the floor
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
