Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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