Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
