windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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