Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
