Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize