Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
