You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
