No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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