Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize