Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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