careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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