id be glad to
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
