you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
