I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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