Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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