i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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