What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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