Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
