I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Im part way to drunk.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
