So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
