Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
