it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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