so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
