Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
