and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
