So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You're like the curious george of whores
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
