this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
