if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
