I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
