do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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