I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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