I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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