I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
