And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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