How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
