Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
