You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You pole danced in your parka.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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