do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
