you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
now i know why i became what i already was.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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