she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
