Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
