Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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