Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
