so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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