my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
