I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
