You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
