Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
