How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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