everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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