Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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