Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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