Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
